It has been over a month since I have had the time to start writing again. Mama had a big move that consumed the entire month of February. Work picked up and became hectic and I still have boxes sitting in my living room. Mama is back though and ready to preach her gospel.
About a week ago I started to write about the horrific climate currently facing women. Everywhere Mama turns there is some new legislation or bill being passed denying women the right to dictate what will and will not happen with her body. We are expected to be barefoot and pregnant it seems. I must say I do love running around barefoot . I live by the beach. Nothing feels better then squishing sand between my toes on a hot summer day. The pregnant part I can do without though. So, it was with a sense of righteous indignation and fury that I began writing last week. I was ready to throw my rage out into the cyber world and vent to whoever would listen. My vagina is my business. (aside from discussing it on the internet). My steam ran out that evening and I left it to sit and stew.
A few days ago it hit me that all the anger and rage was pointless. Blogging about it does nothing to stop the deluge of confused individuals hell bent on stripping my right to prevent an unplanned pregnancy. Of course Mama will vote. That is a given. Our system is not perfect. Mama does feel that our collective voices have a power. Obama is President because of that collective uprising of voices. Voices hungry for a change. Voices that wanted this Presidency to be different. I believe as a society we can stand up and make our voices louder then the ones screaming that we are amoral sluts if we take birth control. I don't think that this is the biggest contribution I can bring to the table though. I will do it because it is right but I know there is more.
This train of thought led me to realize the biggest impact I can have is here in my own home. I have two sons 12 and 10. My power is to teach my sons.
My sons need to see women as strong, capable and intelligent. They need to be shown that my husband considers me an equal. That he values my right to choose what does and does not happen to my body. The men of tomorrow need to be shown that women are their equal partners in life.
My husband was raised by a strong, beautiful, smart and resilient single mother. I believe he has deep respect for me because of his mother. His role model was a woman who had to be a mother and father. She had to wear both roles and could not pause to see if it was ok with society. She had children to feed, cloth and shelter. She took on what had been traditionally the fathers role in the process teaching my husband a valuable lesson about life. We need to teach our sons that these traditional roles women once held in society are gone. Women can have all the traits that had once been admired in men and still be wholly women. We can be equal and valuable in society. This does not take the place of men. This makes men better as whole.
Women have to embrace their own strength and be ok with it. For years I worried I was that I was a crappy woman. I don't love make-up or chick flicks. I would rather play computer games then do arts and crafts. My idea of looking nice would make Clinton and Stacy have nightmares for months. I felt I needed to do embrace all these "womanly" things or I was failing as a woman. At the end of the day I have a vagina. That makes me a woman. Trying to be more "woman like" stripped away my humanity. It took from me what it was that made me unique. I am who am. I am a woman who likes kung-fu and arterial spray movies. I am a woman who only recently learned to cook. I can not sew but I can implement an enterprise software system.
I had to discover it on my own. We can help our sons and daughters discover it. Our sons need to be ok with being stay at home dads, having wives that make more money, and crying when their first baby goes to kindergarten. Our daughters need to be ok with changing tires, pwning on Modern Warfare, and mowing the lawn. They need to learn from our mistakes. If we teach them now that it is ok to be nurturing, loving, compassionate and respectful this will become the norm for the next generation. 15 years from now we will see men and women who look at each and no longer place a value based on gender. It will be a value based on their humanity. 50 points for kindness. -50 points for misogyny.
The challenge is thrown. Our sons and daughters shouldn't move forward unenlightened and ignorant. We owe it to ourselves and to their future selves to show them a new path. A path in which we all have a place in this world and that place is based on our merit as a human being not what does or does not dangle down below.
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