Usually Mama likes to be silly and witty in her posts. Lord knows we could all use a little dose of humor in our lives. Today it is a little hard for me to want to be silly.
This has been a tough few years for America. I feel like every damn time I turn around some horrible tragedy is taking more lives. Today bombs exploded in Boston in what appears to be a well coordinated act of terrorism. From domestic or foreign I can not say. I have no theories on who committed this and at this point I am not interested in hunting people down to exact vengeance. I have never been an eye for an eye kind of girl. Yes I want whoever did this to be caught and to go before a jury but it is not my first thought.
For me and my family I am more concerned with making sure my sons understand that these kinds of acts are not going to define who we become. In their young lives they have seen 9/11. School shootings. Movie theater shootings. Suicides of young girls who were raped and had pics of it posted on social media. Senators shot in the head. One thing after another has changed the face of the world that they live in.
I was trying to remember what had happened when I was a child that was on scale to what my sons have witnessed in their time. Perhaps my memory is rusty but I couldn't think of many things. I barely remember the attempted assassination of Regan. I was too young to understand when Lennon was shot. I remember watching the Challenger explode. That has stuck with me for a lifetime. A horrible accident but still forever ingrained in my memory. After that I don't think my generation saw too many horrific things. We had the threat of gang violence but it didn't really touch the area I lived. Columbine came when I was pregnant with my first son. Already an adult I didn't have to see the tragedy through a child's eyes.
How do I help my sons cope with the horror that has become almost a bi-monthly happening when I have no point of reference? Yes we had bad things happen when we were children. The magnitude and frequency has escalated greatly though. The ability to access information and see the horrors is a reality we did not have. Maybe my memory is so lacking because I didn't get exposed to it when it happened. I rarely saw a news broadcast growing up. CNN was in it's infancy and not many people had fancy cable channels. You were seriously rich if you had a satellite or HBO. We had no internet Communication was not as fast and widespread as it is now.
I had no option of keeping the events of today from my boys. All I could do was text my older son and ask him to please keep his younger brother occupied and away from the internet. I did not want him stumbling on the pictures. It was enough that he knew it happened. It was enough that at 2:30 when he was let out of school for the day, the first text I got from my younger son was "Mom was it North Korea? You said their bombs couldn't hit us." For weeks now the child has seen bits and pieces about North Korea and I have had to reassure him almost daily that we are not in danger right now.
It breaks my heart that my children have these fears. I am terrified that they are going to become adults who are fearful of the outside world. Adults who are terrified to go to a gathering with their fellow human beings because they fear for their safety. Will they live seeing shadows in every corner constantly wary that at any moment tragedy will strike. Since I have no first hand experience I can only offer the strength I have and hope to all things holy it is enough. I repeat to them the same thing every time something like this has happened in recent years. In humanities darkest hours, there is always good. I can not find an instance in history where people did not stand up for good. People sacrificed for the greater good. People that ran towards the tragedy instead of away. Every single horrible moment in history is filled with stories of hero's Ordinary people who refused to allow tragedy and fear to overwhelm them. Men and women who shine like beacons of hope throughout it all. I can not live in fear when I have that absolute faith in my fellow human beings. Hopefully planting this seed of hope and faith will lead my sons and all of the other children born during these last thirteen years through to a place beyond fear. A place where they will not allow the tragic events of their childhoods to keep them from embracing the wonder and joy of coming together in groups of people to share in the spirit of something bigger than themselves.
My heart and thoughts go out to everyone in Boston and wherever tragedy is the daily face of your reality. Love ya all-Mama K
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